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Reflections of Seventeen Years

The following was sent to New Song Church members today. I post it here in hopes that some who have moved away and some who have looked on from the outside might be encouraged by my reflections today:

New Song turns 17 tomorrow. Many of you will not have time to read these reflections. I understand. But some of you might appreciate the ramblings of a pastor who has been as blessed as anyone on the planet.

 

Lori and I moved to Oceanside on July 15, 1991. Our blue Honda Accord was loaded down with two cats and two kids. Bryan was four; Amy, almost three. We had no idea what lay ahead of us.

 

As we passed the “Welcome to Oceanside” sign, we knew no one in the city. We had no friends, no family, no church and no money. Only a dream. And a hope that God would bless that which he had called us to do: start a church to reach lost people in North County, San Diego.

 

We’ve tried to be faithful, and God has been so much more. The 6,700 decisions for Christ, six daughter churches planted, six parachurches founded, the innumerable people repaired and restored, the marriages and lives elevated don’t begin to tell the story of how rich this experience has been. Because God has been faithful. To him be the glory. His promises are true! I know from personal experience that the Lord is with those who are with him; that the mind of a man can plan his ways, but it will be the Lord who directs his steps. I am a most blessed man.

 

Seventeen years have taught me the value of friendship and faithfulness over time. These are treasures reserved for those who are committed, for those who weather storms with each other; who persevere in hardship, and reconcile and forgive when offense is taken. These are treasures that come from the deep, like silver or gold, mined from shafts that go far down into the depths of the earth.

 

I have learned that right choices make all the difference. I have watched spouses make wrong choices that exact a toll from everyone they love. I have watched other spouses choose to do the right thing in the face of pain and become better people, bigger-hearted and bigger-faithed; and more blessed by God because they did what was right rather than what felt right in an impulsive moment or season of life.

 

I have learned about faith. I have trusted God when resources didn’t seem to be there, and then seen his generosity poured through an individual or group, providing exactly what was needed. I have trusted him for miracles, some of which he has granted, others he has withheld in order to build my character.

 

I have learned about love. The Beatles weren’t quite right. Love isn’t all you need; but it’s pretty close. That, and the forgiveness of Christ, plus an occasional trip to the grocery store can sustain a life, change a life, and give hope to the hopeless like no other. The love I have received from my wife, my children, this church, and this community have filled my soul. Only Jesus’ love surpasses it.

 

I have learned that generosity starts at home. If you can teach your children that it is more blessed to give than to receive, you have created an unstoppable force.

 

I have learned the value of right priorities. On the picture wall of my mind are portraits of families who have made sacrifices for God and his purposes and choices to do what he asks. These stand out in bold relief, with, “BLESSED BEYOND BELIEF” emblazoned behind them. While others, choosing lesser things, have muddied photos, with “REGRET” stamped in dingy gray behind their heads.

 

The better part of my life has been invested in New Song Community Church and in reaching the people of North County.

 

The best parts of this investment are a trifecta of divine blessings I never anticipated. The first of these are the memories. In my head are sacred scenes that I will not forget in this life or the next. These scenes are rich with the smiling faces of changed lives.

 

Beside the memories are the dreams of our future. At 17, if she were a citizen, New Song still wouldn’t be old enough to vote. She continues to grow towards her full potential. I dream of filling our building with freshly redeemed loved ones and friends, and then spilling out into locations and cities around us. I dream of expanded ministry to the military, and to Spanish-speakers, and seniors. I dream of touching an increased number of lives in our community as The Church Next Door. One changed life at a time has always been God’s way. Life by life by life, I dream of the day when not just our present building, but multiple buildings are filled with redeemed souls, joyfully and diligently growing in Christ and serving our community together.

 

Next to the memories and dreams in my mind is the hope of heaven. I can see the sea of faces as we gather before our Lord and King one day and give him corporate praise. By then, New Song will be a vast army of Christ-lovers, of various sizes and hues, and maybe varied languages as well. On that day we will be one with the Father and one with each other through the work of Christ whom we will worship in the greatest party ever thrown.

 

I would not trade these seventeen for any others. I hope for seventeen, or twenty-seven, or thirty-seven more with you all.

 

Happy Anniversary New Song,

 

Hal

How to Avoid Getting Stuck at Good Enough

Great people don’t start out great. They get there by taking one step at a time.

 

Sure, some people are born with nicer voices, better looks, or smarter parents. But as people made in the image of God, we all have the seeds of greatness within us. Great people become great by improving their character, talents, thinking or godliness one step at a time. They read a book, take a class, begin a new habit, or sit in front of a piano and practice, one session at a time.

 

In my ministry with pastors I’ve begun to hear a refrain that concerns me. Several have said recently, “I don’t have time to grow.” These men are so busy working in their ministry that they don’t have time for self-improvement, or even church-improvement; which means that a year from now they’ll be at the same level of spiritual maturity and their church will be doing the same level of ministry it is today.

 

Business author Jim Collins says, “Good is the enemy of great.” By that he means that once we reach a certain level, that level fights against us improving further. We’re so busy doing good things for God that we forget to dream about doing great things for Him, or being great followers of His. No one means to stop at good; we just get stuck there by accident.

 

To advance towards greatness, take one small step today, and then another next week or month, and another after that, and another after that, and so on.

 

For instance, what often separates good leaders from great ones is that good leaders set goals, while great leaders write them out. One step from good towards great might be to begin writing out two or three monthly goals and working towards them.

 

Another option could be to enlist a mentor. The quality of our leadership is significantly influenced by the quality of leaders we spend time with. Enlisting a mentor who offers advice, resources and regular assignments is an accelerated plan towards greatness.

 

This one-step-at-a-time approach is also how churches go from good to great. If we can quantify it this way, improving the systems and processes in your church by 1% per month will result in a 12% improvement in a year. Increase that step rate to 1% a week and you accelerate to a 52% improvement in a year.

 

There is an endless list of possibilities for good next steps in your life. Why not take one today?

How To Write A Great Story

I want to tell you how to write a great story, and then I want to tell you how to write the greatest possible story. So if this subject interests you, be sure and read all the way to the bottom.

 

Some have called the story of Jesus, “The Greatest Story Ever Told.” I’d cast my vote that way. What makes the story of Jesus so great?

 

1. The hero in the story (Jesus) is a true hero. - He’s impressive, yet humble; likeable, yet awe-inspiring.

 

2. Jesus’ story is about achieving a worthy goal. – He came to make it possible for people to have a relationship with God and to do so, he was going to have to give his own life on our behalf. That’s a goal that takes people’s breath away. With every page, we want to know, “Can he do it?”  “How will he do it?” And, “How will people respond if he does it?”

 

3. Along the way, he overcame great obstacles to achieve his goal.

 

In my humble opinion, the second greatest story ever told is J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. What makes that story great? It has a great hero (Frodo is impressive, yet humble). The hero has a great goal (he must destroy a great evil in order to save the people he loves). In the process, he overcomes great obstacles.

 

You and I could list a myriad of stories that follow that same pattern: Joseph, Daniel and Paul from the Bible; the heroes of Clancy, Grisham and company from today. They all have the same three elements: a likable hero, an impressive goal, and overcoming great obstacles.

 

Those three elements are essential to any great story. Nobody wants to read about a snob whose goal is to create a comfortable life for himself, and who achieves his goal without exerting much effort. Page-turners are made of great heroes with great goals who overcome great obstacles along the way. That’s the formula.

 

Now that you know how to write a great story, here’s my encouragement to you. Write that story with your life. God has placed you on this planet to write a great story with the only life you’ve been given. Long before you were born, he wrote what you might call “The Prologue” to your story. He published the idea that he’d like your story to be about a relationship with him (John 3:16) in which you help others enter into relationship with him as well (Matthew 28:19-20).

 

So if you’ve read carefully, you know that that’s your great goal. (If you haven’t, I encourage you to read the stories in the Bible of John 3 and Matthew 28. They’re not hard to find.)

 

Before your birth, God wrote the opening paragraph of your story. He gave you a place to be born, a body to live in, and a family to name and nurture you. As you grew, you encountered obstacles. Some of them came from your family, some from friends, and some from circumstances. How have you done so far? Have you preserved, learned, and grown from these challenges? How have you done with achieving your God-given goal? (The Matthew 28:19-20 one.) There are still a lot of pages yet to be written in your story. What will you write on them?

 

To write the greatest story of all, you will need to become the hero of your story - impressive in how you handle obstacles, yet likeable by those who read what you write. You’ll need to play your part in God’s great story of bringing people to himself. And you’ll need to stand in the face of obstacles and overcome challenges that a great life inevitably encounters.

 

Make your choices carefully. You are writing the most important story of eternity, the story that will determine what people read about you forever.

 

And know this. You are not alone in your story. I am here rooting for you. And God is up in heaven not just cheering you on, but crouching forward, eager to assist you at every turn. “The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” - 2 Chronicles 16:9

How To Become A Writer

Often when I teach at conferences (and once-in-a-while even at church), people ask me, “What do I need to do to become a published author?”

 

I respond with two questions in return. First I ask, “What is it you just have to write about?” Most say, “I need to think about that.” I follow with, “What are you writing right now?” Some tell me about their blog, a few describe articles they’ve submitted recently. So far, I have yet to meet an aspiring author who has actually written a book.

 

If you want to become a writer, you need to start writing. Start small. Take an English teacher to lunch and get their feedback. Join a writing club or authors’ group. Know that no one becomes a writer without writing. St. Francis of Assisi said, “Start doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

 

Jesus hinted at this principle when he said, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much...” Luke 16:10

The Prayer I Pray Every Morning

1 Chronicles 4:10 contains one of the shortest, simplest, most powerful prayers ever prayed:

“Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.’ And God granted his request.”

                      

I pray these four prayers every morning:

   1. Lord, would you bless me today in every way YOU want to bless me.

   2. Would you increase my territory so that I can be used more effectively by you.

   3. Would you place your hand upon me, and use it to touch others.

   4. And would you keep me from harm and harm from me.

 

These are prayers God wants to answer. Since I began praying these four prayers daily, the church I lead has seen averaged leading more than two people to Christ every day; we have experienced incredible unity; we have more people per capita serving the poor and needy of our community than any church I’m aware of… and the list goes on.

 

God wants to bless his people. But various reasons, he often waits until we ask. So ask! (Key: ask him to bless you in the ways he wants to. You have some ideas, give him permission to initiate his ideas for blessing you.)

 

God wants to increase the size of your responsibilities. Jesus came to build his church. Ask him to entrust as much of the building of it to you as you can handle. Then ask him to enlarge the territory of your heart and character so you can handle more. Life on earth is about training for reigning with him in heaven. Grow as big as you can.

 

God wants to place his hand upon you. Invite him to do so every day.

 

And God wants to steer you towards significance and away from pain (unless that pain will result in your gain), so ask him for that as well. – Jabez did, and “God granted his request.”

 

I not only pray this prayer for myself, I pray it for my wife, son, daughter, and staff every day.

 

I have discovered that there seems to be a cumulative effect to this prayer. It could be that prayers are like seeds sown in the ground. You pray them and tend them, and after an interval, they begin to sprout and grow. I’d be interested in your feedback about this.

 

“I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and my prayer.” – Psalm 17:6

How To Improve What You See

The human eye is a neutral instrument. Instant by instant it transmits unfiltered data to your brain. Where you focus determines what you see.

How you see is a completely different subject. How you see is determined not by where you look, but by who you are. Consider this parable:

Just before their plane landed, a traveler asked the man seated next to him, “What are the people like in this city?”

            “What are the people like where you came from?” the man responded.

            “They’re despicable,” the traveler replied. “Rude, unkind, willing to do anything to get

what they want.”

“I suspect that’s what you’ll find here as well,” said the man.

At the baggage carousel, a second traveler asked the same question. “What are the people like here?”

Again the man asked about the people from the traveler’s home town.

“They’re wonderful people. Kind, caring, willing to give you the shirt off their back.”

To which the man responded, “I’m sure you’ll find the same here.”

Who you are determines how you see.

On the positive side, your attitude can overcome anything negative around you. Conversely, your attitude can also sabotage anything positive around you.

If you want to change the world around you, start with the heart that beats inside you.

Ask God today to enable you to see the world the way He sees it.

³⁴Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are good, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are bad, your body also is full of darkness. ³⁵See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. ³⁶Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be completely lighted, as when the light of a lamp shines on you." Luke 11:34-36

Eight Capture Strategies for Vacation Bible School

How do you measure the success of your children’s ministry outreach events?

 

Lots of churches sponsor programs that are at least partly designed to attract children who are not currently part of their fellowship. Vacation Bible School is a prime example. Churches put herculean efforts into drawing unchurched kids to their VBS programs. If that’s one of the purposes of your VBS, how do you measure whether you accomplished the goal?

 

At New Song, we have four distinct goals for our summer Bible camp:

1. Disciple the children of our church in an intensive, week-long program.

2. Develop leadership and ministry skills in our youth and adult volunteers.

3. Deepen our unity by asking members of every generation to serve together that week.

4. Attract unchurched families and enfold them into the family of God.

 

We accomplish our discipleship goal by holding a great VBS. We accomplish our leadership development goal through a good VBS staff training program coupled with the on-the-job experience gained during the week of camp.  We accomplish our intergenerational goal by recruiting teens, twenties, thirties, parents and retirees to serve. But how do we retain the unchurched families who attend our VBS? That requires multiple capture strategies.

 

In my experience, many churches put on stellar VBS weeks and hope that the fourth goal (of retaining the unchurched) will take care of itself. The truth is, most unchurched families aren’t thinking about attending your church when they enroll their kids in VBS. They’re either looking for an enriching place to park their kids during a busy summer, or letting their kids hang out with their friends at your church for the week. Church attendance may not be the last thing on their minds, but it’s close to the bottom for most of them. So, wooing the unchurched back will take more than a great VBS program. The majority of your unchurched attendees will only return if you build a relationship with them.

 

Building relationships requires multiple contacts. Here are eight strategies we use to capture as many unchurched visitors as possible:

 

1. We station staff members in the lobby to casually introduce themselves as parents arrive to drop off and pick up their children each morning.

 

2. We set up coffee carts and refreshment tables out front so that parents who want to linger can do so.

 

3. We make one of our weekend services the final session of VBS. At this session (which, for us, is our Saturday night service), we have the children perform songs they learned that week. Then, as I get up to speak, the children are dismissed for one last “special time” with their small group leader of the week. In that meeting they receive their camp picture, a big hug, personal prayer, and encouragement to return for church the following week. (The first time we tried this, literally one-half the unchurched parents got up and left as their children exited the stage, so now we have the children return and perform one more song at the end of the service.)

 

4. While the kids are with their counselors, I preach a biblical message on parenting. I want our visiting parents to know that God and the church can provide them with practical help.

 

5. I offer a free copy of The God Questions to any newcomers, and offer to sign it for them at the end of the service. This gives me an excuse to meet each parent, get their name, look them in the eye and ask, “So do you have questions about God?” I then say, “This is a really good place to get your questions answered. I hope you’ll come back next weekend.”

 

6. We hold a party in the lobby immediately following the service. The tables full of finger food provide turbulence, slowing guests down and enticing them to stay and mingle. We make sure plenty of staff and volunteers are there, graciously introducing themselves.

 

7. We add all visiting families to our database, which means they begin receiving weekly emails from me about what God is up to in our church.

 

8. We offer a second excuse to return by scheduling a family-oriented event a few weeks out and send them an invitation ten days ahead of time.

 

None of these steps happen by accident. They require thought, prayer, and planning. We try to refine this process every year, and every time we do we see a higher percentage of unchurched families return, give their lives to Christ, and join the church. A few begin attending the very next week. A larger number come two to four weeks later (most unchurched people can’t fathom attending church every weekend, so this pattern is normal). Others come the first time I do a series on family, marriage, or parenting. This spring, a family walked up to my wife and said, “We came for VBS last summer, now we’re back for church.” It took them nine months, but today they are now fully-engaged Christ-followers, growing in their faith and looking forward to inviting friends to this year’s VBS.

 

A gifted speaker can get dozens of children to raise their hands and pray a prayer at the end of a good week of camp, but that shouldn’t be your goal. Jesus desires fruit that remains. Therefore, whenever possible, build systems that attract people not just to attend your programs, but to become members of your church. To do this, you’ll need to think on two levels about your outreach events. Level one is the event itself. Level two is capturing the unchurched who attend the event. You will change your paradigm and approach to all event-planning if you measure success not by how many pre-believers show up for it, but by how many previously pre-believers are regularly attending members of your church six months afterward.

Getting into a Prayer Rut

In most areas of life, ruts are a bad thing. Drive your car over one and, ouch, there goes the alignment. Let your marriage get into one and you will be bored and dissatisfied. But when it comes to spiritual exercises, ruts can be a really good thing.

My favorite rut is my morning prayer. First thing every morning, I pray four things for myself, my family, my church and my staff. I pray for the salvation of five of my family members. I thank God for the new day and ask Him to use me to add value to each person I will be meeting with. (I use my calendar for that part.) I pray almost the same thing in almost the same words every morning. This rut has a cleansing effect on me. It draws me close to the Lord and drives His power into my life and concerns. On the rare days when I don’t practice this prayer rut, I feel like is missing all day long.

I have other things and people I pray for throughout the day, but this first prayer of the day is a no-brainer for me. Infrequently-practiced disciplines can be a chore. Routinely-practiced disciples become a joy.

What ruts are working for you?

Respond to Criticism with Seven Great Questions

Yesterday I suggested that preachers request their congregants give them 48 hours to recuperate before giving criticism. Once you receive criticism, how should you respond to it? Let me suggestion seven questions you ought to ask before doing (or saying) anything:

1. What part of this is true? (And what should I do about it?)

2. Hurt people hurt people, so how is my critic hurting, and how can I help him/her?

3. How important is this issue to the health of the church?

4. How easy would it be to make the changes being suggested?

5. What would improve if I implemented this suggestion?

6. What might be hurt if I implemented this suggestion?

7. What does my wife think about this criticism? Does she see some truth in it that I am missing?

When it comes to criticism, you want to weigh what is said and by whom, rather than counting the number of people saying it. Critics often build their case by saying, “Alot of people are thinking this way.” They want to present as forceful an argument as possible, when in reality, it may be that just they and their best friend had one conversation about it. You can ask for specific names if you want, and then count how many people actually feel this way, or, a better way is to weigh the wisdom and influence behind the criticism. For instance, if key a Board member, staff member or Elder is offering this criticism, their one voice might count for a lot more than ten or twenty uninformed or uninvolved fringe attendees. Weigh the criticism as you ask your seven questions. Pray. Resist obsessing. And use what is said to build your character and the church.

Oh, and if what was offered was done in a kind manner, with good intentions, be sure to thank your critic and ask God to bring you more of this kind of feedback.

What methods have you found helpful in handling criticism?

Recieving Criticism

What leaders do matters to the people who follow them. When a pastor preaches a poor sermon, makes a bad decision, or does something embarrassing, his or her people are affected by it. Often these people will express their feelings to your face, which is good. Some of my best advice has come from those who have been frustrated with me.

Preachers, like authors, poets, and songwriters, pour their souls into their sermons. So, when a parishioner criticizes it, they are criticizing us, and that hurts. Asking people not to criticize isn’t good for them and it isn’t good for us. If we turn off this feedback mechanism, we miss out on great advice, a chance to minister to a hurting person, and the teaching moments that take place when we are able to help overly-critical people develop more mature coping skills.

Fortunately, it’s been a long time since someone wanted to criticize one of my sermons, but early on I developed a principle that has served me well: You can criticize all you want, just wait until Tuesday.

This 48 hour rule has helped me a lot. I hope it will help you in your ministry as well.