Yesterday I suggested that preachers request their congregants give them 48 hours to recuperate before giving criticism. Once you receive criticism, how should you respond to it? Let me suggestion seven questions you ought to ask before doing (or saying) anything:
1. What part of this is true? (And what should I do about it?)
2. Hurt people hurt people, so how is my critic hurting, and how can I help him/her?
3. How important is this issue to the health of the church?
4. How easy would it be to make the changes being suggested?
5. What would improve if I implemented this suggestion?
6. What might be hurt if I implemented this suggestion?
7. What does my wife think about this criticism? Does she see some truth in it that I am missing?
When it comes to criticism, you want to weigh what is said and by whom, rather than counting the number of people saying it. Critics often build their case by saying, “Alot of people are thinking this way.” They want to present as forceful an argument as possible, when in reality, it may be that just they and their best friend had one conversation about it. You can ask for specific names if you want, and then count how many people actually feel this way, or, a better way is to weigh the wisdom and influence behind the criticism. For instance, if key a Board member, staff member or Elder is offering this criticism, their one voice might count for a lot more than ten or twenty uninformed or uninvolved fringe attendees. Weigh the criticism as you ask your seven questions. Pray. Resist obsessing. And use what is said to build your character and the church.
Oh, and if what was offered was done in a kind manner, with good intentions, be sure to thank your critic and ask God to bring you more of this kind of feedback.
What methods have you found helpful in handling criticism?
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