PastorMentor.com

Recieving Criticism

What leaders do matters to the people who follow them. When a pastor preaches a poor sermon, makes a bad decision, or does something embarrassing, his or her people are affected by it. Often these people will express their feelings to your face, which is good. Some of my best advice has come from those who have been frustrated with me.

Preachers, like authors, poets, and songwriters, pour their souls into their sermons. So, when a parishioner criticizes it, they are criticizing us, and that hurts. Asking people not to criticize isn’t good for them and it isn’t good for us. If we turn off this feedback mechanism, we miss out on great advice, a chance to minister to a hurting person, and the teaching moments that take place when we are able to help overly-critical people develop more mature coping skills.

Fortunately, it’s been a long time since someone wanted to criticize one of my sermons, but early on I developed a principle that has served me well: You can criticize all you want, just wait until Tuesday.

This 48 hour rule has helped me a lot. I hope it will help you in your ministry as well.

Giving Grace on Mondays

The spiritual realm, with all the enemies it holds, is a very real one for pastors, missionaries and Christian leaders. What we do is exactly what Satan, Inc. would like to extinguish.

Personally, I believe that demons like to poke and prod Christian leaders when we are at our weakest. One of their favorite relationships to poke is the pastor’s marriage. One of their favorite times to do so is Sunday afternoon and Monday, when pastor and spouse are often exhausted and vulnerable from intense people-filled ministry.

Lori and I decided many years ago that we would give extra grace on Sundays and Mondays. We try our best to refrain from petty comments, and to overlook them should they come our way during that time. Ideally, we’d be perfect all week long, but when we’re not, we apply grace, and when we’re exhausted, we apply extra grace. We also try to postpone criticisms and important decision-making conversations until Tuesday.  Life just works better for us this way. I think it might be a good rule of thumb for most pastors.